It’s all a scam

I’m sick of the old “wahh! He left the toilet seat up!” complaint and the whole debate around it. Personally, I don’t care. In my household, you leave it as you use it. That means a lot of times all three of us are moving the toilet seat to how we need it. I know statistical studies have been done saying that leaving it down is easiest for everyone, but here is what I just realized when I was half asleep and putting down the seat so I could pee comfortably: it’s all a scam. Men don’t *need* to lift the seat up. This whole debate has been ginned up to distract us from other issues.

1) Men can aim! Leaving the seat down doesn’t take away that ability. Yes, the diameter of their target is a little bit smaller. We just finished potty training my kid. One of the tricks I learned to make it more fun for him is to put a Cheerio in the toilet and have him aim for that. If he can hit a Cheerio, he can hit the toilet bowl with the seat down.

This is what I got when I did a GIS for “cheerio in toilet”

2) People might say that they will drip on the seat if they don’t lift it. So if they lift it, they won’t pee on the seat. In turn, women can sit on a clean seat. But this argument has two flaws: a) women sometimes accidentally pee on the seat too. It happens enough that women even made up a little rhyme about it: if you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be sweet and wipe the seat. If women are capable of wiping the seat, men are too. b) Men drip on the rim of the bowl even when they lift up the seat.

So, as I almost fell into the toilet bowl this morning, I realized how ridiculous this is. This is not about men leaving the seat up, this is about moving the toilet seat so men don’t have to clean. Ladies, don’t be fooled anymore! Fight the real fight.

About emmawolf

I'm a freelance writer living in Baltimore with my husband, son, and two cats. I'm working on editing my first novel. I love reading, traveling, and the cello.
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5 Responses to It’s all a scam

  1. Heather says:

    In our house, seats and lids are always put back down after toilets are used, because I’m a germaphobe and I demand that the lid goes down before the flushing happens. There is also a “wipe the rim/seat before you flush if you’ve peed on it” rule here. I’m like a Dictator when it comes to bathroom etiquette (or whatever you want to call it). Hahaha!

  2. sj says:

    Ohhhh, I like Heather’s “lid down before you flush” rule.

  3. Piper George says:

    Excellent – that has made me smile.

  4. Our toilet has a self lowering seat. All you have to do is give it a small tap and it slowly and quietly lowers itself. So when hubby leaves the seat up and I run in there, about to wet my pants, and see the seat is up and i have to wait like 15 seconds for it to lower, I’m not very happy. You can’t force it down or it will break the mechanism. So then I have to scream that girls live here, too. Fortunately, he doesn’t do it very often, but when he does, it’s always right before I’m about to have a bladder explosion.

    And he never wipes up his drips. Sometimes he gets it on the floor and when I ask him why he didn’t clean that up, he says it wasn’t from him. Well, no one else lives here and you were the last one in there, buddy! I think men are just genetically programmed to do gross things to drive us women nuts.

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