When I was a kid, the place where I live was named one of the most dangerous places to live in the US. I joked (badly) that we should get together and beat up the pollsters. I know humor’s not funny when you explain it, but since the joke wasn’t funny anyway, let me explain: see, they said we’re violent, so let’s beat them up because they called us something mean.
It reminds me of Senator Kelly’s remarks in the X-Men movie after he was kidnapped by Magneto. Magneto’s actions and violence Kelly proved that mutants were dangerous.
Recently Emma Watson spoke to the UN about feminism and how men need to advocate for women too. And, of course, the dark side of the internet got their tighty whities in a twist about it and proceeded to say/do/threaten all sorts of stupid crap. You know what stupid crap I mean. I don’t need to repeat it here.
So explain this reasoning to me: someone hear’s Watson’s speech and disagrees with her. And is offended because he takes it as a personal affront to his masculinity. Of course, he is entitled to feel that way. I think he’s a little cry baby with no sense of reality, but that’s neither here nor there. So instead of engaging in discourse, he makes violent threats. Impotent threats or no.
Why would he do that? Why would he prove her right? Why would he seek to demean her (which is what feminists are fighting against) rather than even pull a “not all men”?
Unless he never believed it was about equality but his right to oppress women.
A friend of mine told me a disturbing story the other day. She told me she was working topless in her apartment (as she is wont to do), and she heard people snickering outside. Normally, she ignores it because she just doesn’t care. But she heard someone say “facebook,” and she turned to see they were recording her.
We can guess where the story went from there.
I don’t understand.
Working with the premise that seeing breasts=good, why would one seek to make it harder to see breasts? I’ve heard a lot of “oh, JLaw et al. shouldn’t have taken pictures of themselves naked if they didn’t want the world to see them” (which I guess also means we shouldn’t have been changing in the locker room if we didn’t want people to watch us through the hole in the wall), which means that JLaw and others shouldn’t be sexting.
Is that the world you want to live in? You don’t want your girlfriend to send you a picture of herself masturbating? You don’t think people should do things behind closed doors that they don’t want the world to know about?
Condemning the person in the picture for being victimized (let’s not forget, hacking is a crime) might mean that people will heed your lesson. It might mean that, when you’re sending suggestive text messages to your girlfriend when you guys are apart, she’s not going to send you pictures of her tits in response. Because information wants to be free and she shouldn’t take that picture if she doesn’t want the world to see them.
So when you look at the pictures of JLaw, when you condemn her or any victim for being the subject of the pictures, you are making it harder to look at porn.
Unless we realize that this isn’t about porn but about power and that the viewer’s interest isn’t in seeing breasts (they’re a dime a dozen) but in shaming women.
New baby is growing fast, and everything is great. But I have to rant about how much I hate Tommee Tippee bottles.
Picture from Amazon.co.uk.
Yes, you. I hate you.
I hate your shape. On your website, you boast about being an easy to hold shape. How fucking hard is it to hold a bottle? Not hard. Drunk people can do it. But because of your wannabe ergonomic design, pools of milk get stuck in your curves when the bottle is in feeding position. So I can’t empty a bottle unless I’m holding the baby in an unnatural position during feeding.
I hate your nipple. Manhole covers are round so that the cover can never be inserted as to fall into the manhole. The same physics would apply with a nipple and a bottle collar, but the nipple is made of flexible silicone. There is a lip to the nipple so it won’t flex through the bottle collar easily. But the lip on your nipples is too small. So every time I go to assemble a bottle, I accidentally pull the nipple through the collar, making you a pain in the ass to assemble.
I hate your lids. As you can see from the picture above, the lid is designed to sit completely over the bottle collar. So I can’t unscrew the bottle to add powdered formula without removing the lid. And if I do unscrew the bottle with the lid on, like say when I’m cleaning you, I’m not then able to get the lid off to clean the nipple without reassembling the bottle.
I hate your price. Twelve pounds for three bottles! I just want my Gerber bottles that Target sells at six bucks for a nine pack!
Everything about you, I hate. I would just throw you all away, but then I’d feel like I’m wasting money.
I’m a mom and on some online mommies groups, and the other day I got pretty upset at one commenter who called someone’s behavior “childish.” The person in question acting “childish” was an adult who had apparently broken up with her 8-month pregnant friend after ruining her baby shower, and the commenter was using “childish” as a synonym for “selfish.”
Children can be selfish, and I’ll be one of the first to admit that. My husband sometimes says all children are little dictators. I think it has to do with the development of the thought process, and how, at a young age, a child doesn’t understand that there are other people with different points of view. Literally. I remember my psychology professor explaining this to my class back when I was a psych major. He said if you’re watching tv with your kid under a certain age, and you ask him to move because you can’t see the tv, the kid might move closer to the tv or in a way so that he gets a better view. Because the kid really doesn’t understand that you are not a part of him. Children have to be taught to see things from different points of view. Even television sets.
Despite understanding how selfish children can be, seeing the other mother (or mom to be) call an adult “childish” for the selfish behavior made me pretty upset. Maybe it was a bit of my pregnancy hormones talking, but I thought, how dare this woman, who came to this board for mothers and about parenting and children, use “childish” as a pejorative? I likened it to hate speech, as it reminded me of things I’ve heard racists say about how ____ people act like this. Or the use of Gyp or Jew as a verb. As in, “you Jewed me out of $50.” But is it acceptable, on a moms’ forum or not, to use the term “childish” to describe adults who are selfish?
How do you feel about using “childish” as an adjective to describe a negative personality trait? Am I being too sensitive?
Some of my Israeli in-laws are in town for a few days, which has been…interesting. And at the end of a long week, I almost lost my shit. Basically, they have spent the entire week shopping and when we propose to do something else, they go along with it at first. But then, when we’re half way towards our destination or whatever, they change their minds and say they want to go shopping instead. They also want to take a cab everywhere, insisting that it’s somehow cheaper than the bus. Apparently math works differently in Israel.
Anyway, so last night, they took a cab back to our place and apparently the cab driver got a little lost or didn’t know where we lived and then told them that his cab broke down and dropped them off at a street corner not too far from our place. My sister-in-law, in ending the story, said “He’s Arabic.”
Ok, first, no. He’s Arab. At least, that’s how I learned it, Arabic refers to the language. Arab refers to the people.
Second. How the fuck did you know? Are you really that good at telling a person’s cultural/linguistic identity just by looking at him (I know she didn’t ask)? Because I know a lot of people aren’t. A good friend of mine (Arab) told me a story of being in the subway and seeing a couple sit across the train from him. They started talking about him and making fun of him in Arabic. My friend was pretty goodnatured and smiled at them with a smile that tried to convey “yeah, I understand every word you’re saying!” But they just made fun of him more. So when he eventually reached his stop, he wished them a good day in Arabic. (I want this story to be true so bad!) But there’s actually a better chance, statistically, that the cab driver was Pakistani. I guess they all look the same.
My issue is, how do I deal with this? I just ended the conversation and walked out of the room. I don’t want to get into a discussion with someone who thinks that racist and Israeli are synonyms. And the more I would argue my point, the more it would come clear that racism is so intertwined with her politics (I know. I’ve been down that road before). It’s just so disheartening. And what I don’t get is how holding any stereotype about any group doesn’t justify another person holding a stereotype about another group. If you truly believe that all Arabs are ____, then you must also believe that there is some sort of trait inextricably linked to their faith or heritage. Which would mean there are traits inextricably linked to faith or heritage or skin color. And if you believe that, how can you be puzzled or upset when other people hate you for being Jewish?
I’m from Baltimore, but for most of my childhood, we had no football team, so people I knew were Redskins fans. Since I wasn’t interested in football, I didn’t pay much attention to it. But for as long as I can remember, some have been advocating for changing the name of the team.
I still haven’t figured out to watch The Daily Show or The Colbert Report online while in England. Not that I ever was much of a fan of The Colbert Report. I just find his satire frustrating. It seems like too many people seriously think the way he pretends to. Not his fans.
Enter #CancelColbert. As I understand it, Colbert or the show wanted to draw attention to how offensive the name Redskins is by offending another minority group. And he succeeded. Of course it was satire. I don’t think anyone is saying that it wasn’t. But I feel like the upset by the people promoting #CancelColbert kind of proves his point: it’s not cool to use offensive terms to describe people. By contrast, the backlash against #CancelColbert seems to miss not only #CancelColbert’s point but also Colbert’s. Example:
Not only is the use of Yoda bizarre (I can’t imagine him defending racism or telling someone to fuck off), the point of Colbert’s satire was in no way to tell those offended by the name Redskins to fuck off. I see no difference between Colbert fans telling those offended by his joke to calm down, it was just a joke and Dan Snyder telling those offended by the team name to calm down, it’s only tradition.
Of course people were offended by Colbert. He intended to be offensive. If you didn’t take the offense from it, you missed the point.