Being ashamed of a hobby

During college, I went to some sort of group interview thing. I can’t even remember what the job was for. You can infer how career orientated I am from that. Many of the other students showed up in suits. I did not have a suit, so I came “business casual.” I didn’t get the job.

When the interviewer came to me, she asked me what I like to do for fun. I told her I liked to write. She asked me if I’ve ever been published. I hadn’t. I hadn’t even thought about it. I said no.

After that, I felt shame. Why haven’t I been published? Why haven’t I even tried to get published? Am I not good enough? Should I not even tell people that I write? Before, I had let some people read some of my works. But after this experience, I felt uncomfortable doing even that anymore. It took a long time to get over that, and the underlying feeling of shame stuck with me for even longer.

Only recently did I realize, what the fuck? Of all the people she interviewed, I was the only one whom was asked if I’m at a professional level with my hobbies. Other kids liked playing tennis or painting. She didn’t ask them if they had played in the US Open or had works in the Guggenheim. Is getting published easy? Is it just fait accompli that if you write, you will be published? Does anyone just write for fun? I think the answer is “of course.” Otherwise blogging wouldn’t be a thing.

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About emmawolf

I'm a freelance writer living in Baltimore with my husband, son, and two cats. I'm working on editing my first novel. I love reading, traveling, and the cello.
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7 Responses to Being ashamed of a hobby

  1. This is interesting and goes along nicely with several other posts I’ve read this past week about the odd disrespect (often unintentional) non-writers heave at writers. I’m sharing this on my FB page with the other ones.

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