You know that dream where you go to school naked?

Courtesy of sj: Pictures of Kristen Stewart in her underwear. Why sj is looking at pictures of Kristen Stewart in her underwear, well, the world may never know. I’m going to give K-Stew the benefit of the doubt and pretend that maybe she didn’t know you could see through her dress until she saw the pictures. I’ve been there.

I played cello in high school, and at least twice a year we were had concerts where we showed off what we had been working on for half the year to the parents of the much larger band or choir who felt guilty for walking out after their kid had performed. We all had to wear white shirts and black pants or a black skirt. Since the instrument had to go between my spread apart legs, I should have worn pants, but I opted for a long flowy skirt. And this was my orchestra uniform for about 4 years.

My senior year, a student from the yearbook approached me with a picture of the orchestra playing at the winter concert. He asked me if I knew the song we were playing. I have no idea how I was supposed to know. The sheet music in the picture was too tiny to read the title. And I couldn’t tell from “oh yeah, my fingers are in third position making a g sharp on the a string, that must be Brandenburg Concerto Number 3. Allegro.” But I really wasn’t concerned with trying to answer the student’s question. I was staring at my bright orange underwear that was completely visible under my black skirt! OMG! How was my underwear visible through the otherwise opaque fabric?! Why hadn’t my parents told me? Or was it just in this picture? What kind of x-ray vision cameras were the yearbook committee using? And weren’t there more attractive people to take pictures of in their underwear? I mumbled something about how I didn’t know as it sunk in that a picture of me in my underwear was going to be published in the school’s yearbook.

When the yearbook came out, the first thing I did was check that picture. Thankfully, the yearbook advisor or some benevolent student had decided to crop me out of the picture all together. Which makes me I wonder if sending that student to me wasn’t just the yearbook advisor’s way of telling me that the whole school could see my underwear. Nice of him to wait until my senior year to do it.