NaNo update

It’s only three days in, but I’m really enjoying my story. Much more than I thought I would. I came into it with something barely resembling an idea, but as soon as I starting writing, characters and adventures leapt to mind! I told you before, my book is about a vampire public defender. To get in the mood for this ridiculous idea (that was not my idea! I can’t take credit for something this ridiculous!) I started to try to write lawyer/vampire jokes. They are terrible, but here they are:

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A law degree.

A vampire goes into a lawyer’s office and says he wants help starting a corporation. The lawyer says “ok, but can I get a stake in it?”

What do you call a vampire and a lawyer who you are happy to see? A parasite for sore eyes.

A vampire goes into a lawyer’s office and says he wants to write a will. That’s it. That’s the joke.

And here’s something I wrote the other day for NaNo (it’s um, probably not safe for classy people):

I giggled again. Ahh, the old trope of a threesome. Now there’s a way to get a girl wet. The men who seemed the most excited by the prospect were always the kind to give out after the first orgasm. Granted, I had a small sample size, but it always left me puzzled: what exactly did he think he would do with two women? Unless he had some sort of genetic deformity or birth defect, he only had one penis. I peered up at him from under my eyelashes. “Sorry, but I think I’ll be more than you can handle.” I debated whether or not to kill him as I said this.

Steven swallowed the rest of his beer, gave a loud belch, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then turned to me and said “Let’s rock.”

I decided I would kill him.

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About emmawolf

I'm a freelance writer living in Baltimore with my husband, son, and two cats. I'm working on editing my first novel. I love reading, traveling, and the cello.
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6 Responses to NaNo update

  1. rarasaur says:

    Awesome! On behalf if non-classy, yet dignified, people everywhere… I approve and look forward to more. 🙂

  2. It looks like you’re having a lot of fun with it, which is awesome. 🙂

  3. Heather says:

    I love your jokes AND the excerpt. Hahaha!

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